Wednesday, October 12, 2011

So What....

So What….
if we went to the fair in the rain. It was still awesome
if I wear fake glasses
if I ate two lunches the other day. I wanted to have lunch with my husband that bad
if I got so busy that I forgot to shower today
if I am still kinda afraid of the dark
if I sometimes skip out on brushing my teeth in morning

Monday, October 10, 2011

Lets Be Real

Today has been full of emotions and its not even noon. I have been wrestling with my desire for a baby.
 I don’t understand. I am so confused. I hurt. I watch all of these women getting pregnant and I am still waiting. 
I feel robbed and the closer we get to what should have been our due date the more I am reminded of what was lost. 
Today has been a Monday of tears and sadness... a good ole fashioned pity party. I am trying to have joy but sometimes lets just be real, its hard. 
I know that it is God’s will for us to be parents. I know I have to be patient but patience is a weak area of mine.
 I can say that through this I am learning more and more about how to be patient. I will remain in faith even though sometimes I just want to give up and pretend like I don’t care anymore.I can’t do that because that would be a lie.
 We have been trying for a little over a year now. I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would take this long to get pregnant.
 I also never thought that during that time I would have the joy of getting pregnant just to lose the baby. Through the tears and the hurt I will lean on my Savior.  
Today I am going to meditate on the fact that the joy of the Lord is my strength. I will see the victory.
God is good, He is faithful, He loves, and He gives good gifts...
Children are a gift from God!!! I look forward to the day I receive the gift of a child from my  Heavenly Father!!! 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Do You Think I Am Beautiful

Inside every woman is the question
Am I beautiful??? 
Am I loved???
Am I noticed??
We as women want to hear yes to these and many other questions.
God says yes
He says I am enthralled by your beauty
He says you are a pearl
He says I have loved you with an everlasting love
He says you are so loved that I gave my very best... my Son
He says I watch over you... I never take my eyes off of you.
I will never forget while in college a friend of mine gave me a book called “Do You Think I’m Beautiful.” It was one incredible book!!! I realized that all the while I was looking for a guy to love me, to romance me, to sweep me off my feet, to make me feel beautiful that God was always doing all of that. I just wasn’t seeing it because I was too busy looking to boys for the answer. I wasn’t taking Him by the hand and receiving all of these things.  It changed my relationship with God. You see its a relationship not a religion. God is crazy about you. He wants to be numero uno in your life. He wants to speak to these desires within you and tell yes to all of those questions you struggle with. He wants to see you confident not just in your outer beauty and how guys make you feel ,  but in who He has created you to be. The real you can only be found in Him and all those answers can only be satisfied through him. A dude may be able to answer for a season but eventually you will find yourself still struggling with the same questions. Run to God He will show you through his word who you really and will satisfy all of those questions. 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

This Wednesday I am saying so what....

So what if....

I broke the garage door and we have to call a garage door happens
people think I share too much on MY blog. If you don’t like it don’t read it. 
my house looks like a tornado just came through it. We have been busy besides I am going to clean it tomorrow
I buy my dog a new toy every time I go to any store that has dog toys
I am super excited about seeing Disney on Ice for the third year in a row
I enjoy watching the disney channel. I guess I am still young at heart ;)
I had to get on to my cross country team and it hurt my feelings 
I traded in my membership at cross fit for a maid to come clean the house twice a month. Yes, I did this but I will be starting back at cross fit in the next few weeks. I will be keeping the maid 

Monday, October 3, 2011

Weekend Recap

  1. Took the cross country team to my high schools homecoming football game
  2. Had a cross country meet Saturday morning 
  3. Went to the lake and rode jet skis with my brother and sister. We froze are little rear ends off
  4. Went to the Luke Bryan concert
  5. Went back to the lake for more family fun
  6. Camilla puked all over me because she decided to eat a container full of live fishing bait. I thought I was going to be sick
  7. Watched a boat following Geary way too close as he drove the jet ski back to the dock. My family joked about it being the lake police. Only to find out as they got closer that it was indeed the lake police. Apparently the jet skis weren’t registered. Geary received a warning and we all laughed about it.
  8. Rode the jet ski with Geary. It wasn’t as cold because he blocked the wind for me.